| This Day in Piemerican History, February 19th |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|10:30 am] |
This Day in Piemerican History,
February 19th
1998
Piemerican History: Pie Begins
Action Comic: Cats LXXX- Home are the Heroes
2002
A lesson for the Ages
It's hot when summer rolls around so: Killing in cold blood won't cool you off & If you ever say to yourself "animals shed fur to cool off maybe I should shed blood" Well, don't give it a second thought or else you might do it twice.
Journal: Describe Your Dream House -Read on Piemerica.org
I usually dream about my own house just with in convoluted. The doorways are usually dark & jagged yet I have no trouble going through them. Some rooms have shelves. A thing to note is that the lighting of the room resembles that of a police interrogation room, although the actual light is high up to the roof. When ever I have a dream about a house I usually don't go out of it but if I do it resembles the outside of a 1950's suburb house. This is probably because of the influence television has on my psyche. When I wake up I am glad to be in my real house because I know where everything is at & don't stumble randomly throughout the hallways.
2003
Lesson: If you ever buy brown shoes but the other shoes of the same type aren't brown, there's a bum in the store.
Story: No Reception Hall or Beans in the Bucket -Read on Piemerica.org
One Time I wanted to be a clown so I went over to the old shoe shop & ordered a pair of hamburgers. Failing that, the shoe salesman told me that the food court was on the 2nd floor. Once I got the hamburgers I decided I was going to fix me up some kooky soup.
After I was thrown out of the fountain people started to fall down behind me. They sure fell funny too, sometimes they even slid. I decided I was gonna go to the shoe store because I wanted to be a clown too???
I went up to the hamburger place & ordered me a pair of clown shoes. The nice lady there told me the shoe store was on the 1st floor. On my perilous climb up to the 1st floor was no picnic, except when I took that break & those ants carried me to their secret underground lair where I found that ants secretly control the world.
Back to the important part. I thought about how tall clown high heel shoes must be. I headed over to the DiscoTec but I found out It had been closed a good 20 years.
Finally I decided I was just going to put on some makeup & a dress.. eruh.. Clown Dress. I rolled on over to the Clown Supply Warehouse because these hooligans put me in a trash can. I was finally there. I dug up some great prices out at the dumpster. I went home that day with a big smile on my face. Clown makeup makes me look happy whether I like it or not. On the inside I was crying.. tears of joy! & pain.. because I sat on an old pin tailed muffin.
Poetry: 1/2 a 2nd -Read on Piemerica.org
Improbable Silence
Homes are few
None speak they don't want to
The scales go down into negative weight
Starlet fusion burns my eyes
A sense of responsibility
Crackles of the campfire go down
Making many intrusions
Improbable sound
Standing in the hollowed drained or splattered about
In impossible silence nothing can shout
Journal: If you could interview the President of the U.S. what would you ask him? Why? -Read on Piemerica.org
I'd be like "ey man why don't you have any sponges in your broom closet? I was trying to clean up yesterday & I had to go all the way to the sponge closet." Then the Prez would be like "I didn't cause it. I ain't in charge of no closet." Then I'd say "Oh yeah, well your secret service need to serve me up some sponges, right now!"
And at the end of the day he would say "That man who came to the White House today, we tried to throw him out but he decided to stay. He wanted a book so he could drink it but I gave him the boot & his eyes did sinketh."
2007
Lesson: The size of your waist line indicates how much waste you intake. -February 19th Lessons on Piemerica.org
-- Visit our website, conveniently located on the World Wide Web: Piemerica.org
|
|
|
| 8th Anniversary Lesson |
[Jan. 22nd, 2009|08:22 am] |
1/22/09 Flashback Edition for the 8th Anniversary of Lessons:
When someone says to you, "It's a small world." tell them to go take a walk.
Read all the Lessons at Piemerica.org |
|
|
| Lessons for 1/19-20/09 |
[Jan. 21st, 2009|09:39 am] |
1/19/09
If you forget about a deadline, don't worry, just hurry.
1/20/09
The underlying problem with lying under the bed is that you may hit your head.
Fun Fact:
Tomorrow (1/22/09) is the 8th anniversary of Piemerica's first lesson.
Read all the Lessons at Piemerica.org |
|
|
| Top 5 Lessons of 2008 |
[Jan. 3rd, 2009|03:21 pm] |
Top 5 Lessons of 2008
5. Here's a healthy cooking reminder: If you fry you die. If you bake it you make it. 4. God caused people to lose their sight as they get older to make it easier on them when having to look in the mirror. 3. Pollution is good for you. It makes you realize there should be less pollution. 2. The reserves for the Marines are called Sub Marines. 1. Super is supper with one ‘p’ that is how good supper is you see. Brought you to Lesson Mania! the book, on sale now & later! Visit Piemerica.orgWe're open 24 Hours a Day!
|
|
|
| Piemerica.org Updates for October 5, 2008 |
[Oct. 5th, 2008|01:12 pm] |
Piemerica.org Updates for October 5, 2008
Two New Lessons
One who seeks advice is not wise because you need to subtract vice not add to it.
The reason why women always go to the bathroom together is because the door reads "Women" and they don't realize that it is possible to go in one at a time.
New Joke
What job has the most pressure?
A Deep Sea Diver
Jibber Jabber 2008 Updated
Paperstation & Greatest Hits of Christmas Eve with all related links added to products page of Encyclopedia
And slowly we turn step by step inch by inch & add sketches from the Christmas Eve Special to http://www.dailymotion.com/flying_hat where all Piemerica's videos can be found.
And don't forget to tell us how much you love &/or hate us!
|
|
|
| Lesson Mania Week 2008 |
[Jul. 28th, 2008|02:12 am] |
7/28/08
Day 1- 4 Lessons
Pollution is good for you. It makes you realize there should be less pollution.
When your clock is so slow it doesn't even know how to tell time, it's time to get a new clock.
One cannot prevent being a slacker because once one stops slacking one then slacks at slacking itself.
The reserves for the Marines are called Sub Marines.
7/29/08
Day 2- 4 Lessons
Imitation is the highest form of annoyance.
The reason why kids eat crayons is because they are led to believe that colors are food when given popsicles.
Fun loving people get bored very easily.
When you find the onion bulbs at the top of the mountain the koalas will stop following you through walls of gelatin.
7/30/08
Day 3- 4 Lessons
Mexican blood is like hot sauce it turns mosquitoes into fireflies.
Soap-operas aren't clean. However Soap-&-water-operas are.
The foot heals the fastest of all body parts because it has a built in heel.
If you run out of breath when walking up stairs, the stairs went way too high into the atmosphere.
7/31/08
Day 4- 4 Lessons
The great thing about a sewer mane rupturing is that you can fart and nobody would even know.
Drugs aren't the answer, unless the question is "What is not the answer?"
If everyone liked being insulted there would be no more insults.
It's hard work gaining weight mainly because being out of shape causes you to be out of breath all the time.
8/1/08
Day 5- 4 Lessons
The best time to say goodbye is when you first meet someone.
Circus midgets who grew up living in circus tents find it difficult to transition into living in houses with walls because they feel confined in the space despite their small stature.
Investing is easy, just get in a vest.
If someone tells you "It's not the end of the world" to do something and by some coincidence the world does end when you do it, that person is going to feel pretty bad. |
|
|
| Recent Piemerica.org Updates (July 11, 2007): |
[Jul. 11th, 2007|06:13 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | b4ep1, boo! bub? boo. bluh?, commercial, daily update, egg/muzzz, jibber jabber, lessons, lyrics, piemerica.org, story, video, wednesday | ] |
Recent Piemerica.org Updates:
Two new Piemerican Records Releases: Detritus by khyber.pass & Arizona by Dawn Chorus. Get them at Here
New Story: My Dog
New Lyrics: Lazy, The Escape of the Self-Imprisoned, Where is your love?, To Pay
Jibber Jabber 2007
Five New Lessons
New Entrance Page Featuring new commercial for Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh?
Complete Piemerican Discography Updated
And of course the third Com. Ad. Advert.
|
|
|
| Lesson Mania Week 2007! |
[May. 14th, 2007|02:59 pm] |
I'll be posting the rest of the week in this blog as days go by..
5/14/07
Day 1 -10 Lessons
Not all hillbillies are named Billy but they are all related to him.
Groceries are so dumb they can't find their way out of a paper bag. However they do find their way out of plastic bags quite easily.
Opportunity knocks but disaster just comes right on in.
Glue Sticks are in the most sticky situations of anything in the world.
Boys will be boys.. until they group up.
Don't watch a clock just buy a watch.
Horse racing isn't the same thing as horse breeding.
Pop singers are like soda pop. They are great at first but go flat after about 15 minutes.
Some keys to success are only used to lock doors.
Heterosexuals should avoid the use of walk-in closets to stave off confusion.
5/15/07
Day 2 -9 Lessons
Under cover cops aren't dressed in uniform.
Flash Forward Edition:
Bald scientist, O. Howitzer Shynes, gained fame by inventing and marketing bald house robots called Chrome Domes. His bald brethren celebrated him for removing the phrase as an insult in general speech.
If you see a funny looking cloud don't laugh because you might make it sad and then it will rain.
Don't ask yourself questions. Doing so means you already don't know.
If you ask a question and the person responds with "Why do you ask?" in the reply, say "Because I don't know."
Knowing sounds negative so don't know anything.
To know if you're barking up the wrong tree see if the tree already has bark.
If you're white you're trite. If you're black you're on crack. If you're red you're corn fed. If you're yellow you're a punch and kick type of fellow. If you're brown please put the phone down. If you laughed at this list you're a racist.
Physical fights always have sore losers.
5/16/07
Day 3 -12 Lessons
It is better to be insane than incrazy.
Never underestimate the number nine.
Plug into learning and you'll soon learn that you can't physically plug into learning.
Dotted I's are I lids.
Nail biting is a rare habit that causes people to break their teeth.
Think before you act or you'll act dumb.
Computers are like people they older they get the slower they are.
If you're stupid enough to act stupid then you're not acting.
There are clowns in towns as the circus tours. There are ups and downs as the trapezes soar. One thing is for sure about the circus my friend is that it is never dull. But the smell of the elephants' poo really distracts from the show.
If your plans for watching television are foiled there may be hope for you yet.
If at first you don't succeed try, try again until you realize that you shouldn't have tried this at all.
Don't be embarrassed when you get ink on your hands. You can just that it's a new style of tattoo.
5/17/07
Day 4 -11 Lessons
Beggars can't be choosers which is why they haven't chose to get a job.
If your refrigerator is working pretty soon it will want to be paid.
In most cases if you bite the hand that feeds you you've only bitten your own hand.
It is easy for an ice-cream man to keep his cool during a stressful day.
If the judge throws the book at you, go ahead and drink it, it's ok.
It is not OK 2 OD.
If you blow out your candles on your birthday pie after you open your presents it is too late to wish for a birthday present that you actually wanted.
When sharing pizza with someone be sure to cut it fair and square. Well.. not square.
People that are busy as bees make money instead of honey.
Surviving a toothache isn't a piece of cake but the cake may have caused it. Eat pie instead.
Laughter is the best medicine because it is funny to be sick.
5/18/07
Day 5 -8 Lessons
Most people don't bury the hatchet until their enemy is buried with it in their back.
People without loved ones usually love fives, tens, twenties, fifties, and hundreds.
Women are so difficult to communicate with that the term miscommunication was created.
Doing what feels right often doesn't last for more than one night.
All reptiles are cold hearted.
Giving a gift on an anniversary is a way to say "I love you." Giving a hug on an anniversary is a way to say, "I love you but I'm broke."
Our humanity is not held in the wires we run or the threads that protect us but rather in the tears we shed together when we think we're alone.
Wedding rings see far more fights than boxing rings.
5/19/07
Day 6 -8 Lessons
Most car accidents are actually driver accidents.
Exercising your mind does not refer to thrashing your head around but if you're stupid enough to think that is what it means, go ahead and do it because it probably couldn't lower your intelligence any more.
Some people are fine being late for work but hate getting off of work late.
Space aliens have come to earth because they ran out of space on their home planet.
A chair with rollers can make life easier and queasier.
You can't take public transportation to a private event.
If you ask your dad, "Hey dad what's the latest fad?"
Your dad will say, "You see back in my day the earliest fad to rise was the first to bed and now all of those old fads are dead. So if you want some sound advice that will make you think twice before you think 'That fad is niice!' here are some words from your dear ol' dad. Listen to me son that fad is bad. You'll spend all your money & then you'll spend all of mine on a nose ring with an attachable vine. Two weeks later as your vine sways in the breeze you'll walk up to your friends with a strutting ease. Then your friends will get irate and chuckle 'What's up man, aren't you up to date?' Then you'll look up at their cardboard hat that they bought for $70 dollars at the Gap and you'll start to whine and pitch a moan. You'll say to me, 'C'mon dad just toss me some bones!' But the only ones I'll let you see are from the back of my hand as I put you over my knee. So as you can hear that's a wrap. Don't follow fads or you'll get a slap"
"Ok dad I'd hear you out except that the latest fad is listening to your dad. I am confused and don't know what to do but I think I'll go get that hat you were talking about. And by the way day do you have any money I'm running low so could you help me out?" Slap!
The fastest way to world peace is for everyone to die in war.
[You should comment on this blog if you read these because if you don't I'll cry or get revenge or whatever it is that would motivate you the most to message me on your thinking thoughts.]
--
~*~*~Lori~*~*~ on 6/13/07 - 6:56 PM
Oh hunny...you are hilarious!!!!! There were several that i couldn't help but laugh out loud!! You should let me proof read stuff. There were just a couple mistakes. I love you wonderful!!!
|
|
|
| Top 10 Lessons of 2006 |
[Apr. 15th, 2007|01:40 pm] |
Piemerica.org Presents..
Top 10 Lessons of 2006
10. Hole punchers are useless.
9. It's easy to catch a train because it leaves tracks everywhere it goes.
8. Death is just around the coroner.
7. The reason why people refer to cars as feminine is because most car lovers are men & they don't want to sound gay.
6. If you ever lose your eyeballs the best place to look for them is.. oops sorry.
5. The best way to get to the root of a problem is to use a lumber jack.
4. Business damages caused during a bar fight can be repaired with scotch tape.
3. Not even sunglasses could make the sun look cool.
2. Being on a fixed income is better than being on a broke income.
1. Lighting in the sky is like God taking pictures of us.
Get all these lessons and hundreds more when you buy Lesson Mania!
Just $5 for the downloadable E-book or $15 for the paperback book (DRINKABLE!).
This product is endorsed by one or more people.
We've already satisfied one happy customer, could you be next?
"Let's just say... It's the greatest uplifting book ever"
~ Popular Musical Muscians Star & Micey
--
Packed with wisdom!
A MUST READ for ALL!
Posted by Robyn on Apr 24, 2007 11:01 PM
I think i like 6 better than 5-3 but you're so funny that it's all great!!! I love you my wonderful husband!!!
Posted by ~*~*~Lori~*~*~ on 4/25/07 - 10:33 PM
|
|
|
| Piemerica |
[Aug. 24th, 2006|12:14 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | ===, boo! bub? boo. bluh?, daily update, lessons, lyrics, piemerica.org, piemerican magazine, promos, quotes, story, thursday | ] |
 Showcase:
Piemerica Store Latest Big Site Updates:
Updates Page
Photo Galleries: Rummage, Sheek, The Watcher Lyrics: The Song That Has Never Been Written Before, Inanimate Objects, A Light Instrumental, Acronym, Free 2, If I, They Watched Me Sleep, Daze, Jugular, Systole Apple Explication Account One (A Rhythmically Recurrent Contraction), Proximo, Will you Come True?, Definition, Opening, To Be, By the Sun of the Moon Quotes: Eighteenal Fornitude Lesson Mania Week 2006 Two New Chapters of (The Joe)'s Autobiography: Milking Logs & Once in a Lifetime Classic Piemerica:
Book Drinking, Lessons, Quotes, Speeches, School Journals, Top 3, Scripture of/for the Week, Boo! Bub? Boo. Bluh?, The darkened Reality of Real-Estate, Presidential Conspiracy, Funny Lyrics/ Parodies, Piemerican Airlines, Scripts, Advertisements, Pledge of Pielegiance Piemerica's Multimedia Site: Check it out for downloads of Music, Videos, Video Games, & more. Advice Oven: Advice Column by Emperor MAR. If you need advice just send us a message. More Great Piemerica Links: Stories, Lyrics & Poems, Comics, Piemerican Knews Quality Literature: |
|
|
| Today & The Years Gone Bye |
[Aug. 21st, 2005|11:33 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | (the joe), book drinking, christian, food, image, jesus, joenan, lena, lessons, lori, mars, motorist, piemerica.org, song title, sunday | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  grateful | ] |
Joenan & I hung out today. The first time since July 29 that we've seen or spoke to each other. I guess with all the Lori drama & me going to MS for a week it doesn't seem like it was that long. On the other hand considering how I've been lately it easily seems that long. I spend most of my missing on Lori so it makes sense.
We caught up on things talk & life wise. We went to ye olde golf course which we eventually played with an older fellow who gave Joenan many golfing tips. Post golfing we ate at Ryan's. He is the only person I've ever seen out drink me sweet tea wise. Not sure when I'll see him again but today was pretty good & today can't be taken away from me (lest I loose my memory & my computer does as well.)
This week is, as long as I finally pass my driver's test, the last olde school week of my life. I'll be driving & jobbing it up soon & it only took me about 20 years to do so! Really last week was due to me taking the test on Friday this week but Joenan was a part of this week which is certainly olde school.
19 was the best year of my personal life & life overall with my growth in Christ & relationship with Lori.
18 was probably my best year musically with the majority of my MARS cd catalog being recorded while I was that age.
17 was the final era of (The Joe) Legend where craziness & new outlets of creativity came out.
16 not too sure about 16 it is harder to pin point
15 was when Piemerica shaped into what it is known for with Book Drinking, (The Joe), & Lessons.
14 I got saved at 14 & that is the best of course being a Christian is about growing so life is better now
13 Piemerica? oh yes that is when it began way back in 1998
12 I started pie, became sociable (spoke aloud), & made friends
I'll stop going back there.
19 has been difficult & things should become more difficult when I'm 20. Hopefully Lori & I will be together together with-in the next year & if that happens my life will continue to improve & be a refreshing pinnacle. |
|
|
| Slide Down the Stairs |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|09:47 pm] |
It is more fun to write when one is sad because when one is happy fun isn't as fun. -Upcoming Lesson Around the clock. Clear to haze.
Legend, Emperor, Mr. Piemerica..
I must say my empire seems quite fallen.
No one is interesting enough to be interested.
I become false because I appear too good to be true.
I have too much "personality" to be real or have real friends.
So instead I choose to be silent.
I'm realizing that number wise I didn't have that much. I've not often been enough more than my exterior to need anything more. People have to become educated & I don't really feel like going through that again. In a normal world an abnormal man doesn't have as many options or satisfying options.
I wonder what I'm supposed to learn. Things aren't as they've been in years past I know I can learn. Can I not learn in company? I must be missing something or else I wouldn't keep coming back to these desolate states in my life. Perhaps I'm too impatient to realize that there may not be something to learn but that tomorrow could change things.
(The Joe)..
I have no identity so how can this be a crisis?
I have too much identity & not enough reality.
I know not right now. Otherwise I don't remember the point.
The pride of not giving in first is sadly one of the few things to keep me from the rest of me. (Now something makes more sense.) |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
flying_hat's journal
busy
